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A Pale Glimpse Of A Shattered Past

by Unguilty / Fentanil

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1.
Alone, with the eyes wide shut No beauty was left here Cold steam exhales from my mouth Reminding me that I'm alive Drowned in despair Her voice echoes in my head Lying in the dark corner Wondering to see her light again All that is left to me Is memories All that keeps me breathing Is memories Breath Bleed All that is left to me Is memories All that keeps me breathing Is memories
2.
Cold and eternal winter Freezing our dreams In pale shades of gray We watch our lives in slow decay Powerless, we cry As our bodies fades away By the dawn, the sun will no longer warms our flesh Dust we are Dust we will forever be
3.
Happiness is just a mix of feelings And feelings are a mix of chemicals If they are well-balanced, you’re lucky If they are not, you’re like me I’m a mess, an unstable mess Serotonin is missing in my brain And it fucks up all my body My chemical being is under control Of you, a single molecule I need you, serotonin Let me be your slave I’m crawling for you To feel your false joy I’m cutting for you Your beauty misleads everyone I need you in my brain Come bring your artificial joy My lazy neurons produce you too little But when I need more, I know what to do I need more, I’m cutting for you The only solution was To keep you, to raise your level So that you don’t leave me anymore To keep you prisoner of this cage Prisoner of my brain, just like me
4.
In silence, I witness this cold dawn The sunlight tearing up the clouds Soon, there will be the first light Of my last day Walking with crooked steps Don't know what lies beyond each shadow Hear a scream resounds in my head Could it be the end of my fears? My legs are failing And I see in shades of gray I can feel the the inner cold Turning my lungs in bags of ice Set me free No more fears of delusions in me This is the first light Of my last day
5.
They want to cleanse the fucking blood Running through my veins, poisoning me My liver is as spoiled as me I know what I’ve done and that’s okay If you can’t save me from my hell, Please, don’t save me from my death It’s not a mistake, it’s a choice It’s the urge that has helped me But I’ve been preparing it for a long time For years and years, in secret If you can’t take me from my head, Just let me leave my whole body A few hours more would have been enough I would have suffered, but now it would be over They found me too early, too bad A future corpse dying on the floor I could have been free, but I’ll stay chained to life Like a dog to its leash, but pills could have set me free Now I’ll be ‘’saved’’, I have no choice I try to resist, but I can’t move They’re all around me, holding me against my will ‘’Is she conscious?’’, ‘’How many pills?’’ ‘’It could have been lethal, but she’ll be fine’’ No, I’ll never be fine, you dumb fuck Now I’m lying on the bed with clean blood and burning veins With the aftertaste in my mouth and my upset stomach Thinking I messed everything up And tomorrow I’ll see the doctors and pretend They can’t set me free from my mind, But they don’t want to let me leave
6.
Step by step, I’ll end up all alone Cancelling plans, standing you up I was tired of waiting for it to end So now I avoid the beginning I’ll end up alone, with no help from you That’s all I deserve, I’m such a wimp I gave up all of my social life Did I even ever had one? Every word can be a blade And I’ll cut for this one you just said It’s stupid because I won’t forget But hurting is the only way to soothe Each word I say is a stick I give you So that you can beat me, make me suffer Choose your words carefully please, I’m fragile A victim, persecuted by my own mind I’ll die a martyr, everything’s against me You don’t know what you’re inflecting on me You don’t know I’m bleeding under my clothes You don’t know I’m dying under my skin You don’t know I’m crushed under your words Your friendly violence hurts so badly I hate you, my friend

about

"'A Pale Glimpse Of A Shattered Past' will lead the listener to a intimate feeling of raw nostalgia, the search for good memories among all the miserable experiences that fulfill our minds. Six intimate songs that brings a delicate beauty throughout all the distorted guitars and agonizing vocals. Hope you'll like it."

- F.R.

credits

released February 5, 2021

Unguilty

F.R - Everything

www.facebook.com/unguiltyband

__________________
Fentanil

C22H28N2O - Guitars
Yakoushi - Vocals
Clarisse - Lyrics
Astratta - Drums

fentanil.bandcamp.com

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about

Unguilty PR, Brazil

One-man-band from Curitiba, Brazil. Depressive black/doom metal. Signed to Eternal Awake Records.

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